An Introduction to Polygamy
in Islam
Islam is criticized for allowing polygamy, for popular
culture in the West views polygamy as relatively backward and
impoverished. For many Christians, it is a license to promiscuity, and
feminists consider it a violation of women’s rights and demeaning to
women. A crucial point that needs to be understood is that for Muslims,
standards of morality are not set by prevalent Western thought, but by divine
revelation. A few simple facts should be borne in mind before any talk of
polygamy in Islam.
Islam Did Not Initiate Polygamy
Islam did not introduce polygamy. Among all
Eastern nations of antiquity, polygamy was a recognized institution.
Among the Hindus, polygamy prevailed from the earliest times. There was,
as among the ancient Babylonians, Assyrians, and Persians, no restriction as to
the number of wives a man might have. Although Greece and Rome were not
polygamous societies, concubinage was a norm[1].
Islam regulated polygamy by limiting the number of wives and bringing
responsibility to its practice. In fact, according to David Murray, an
anthropologist, historically polygamy is more common than monogamy. [2]
Polygamy Practiced by God’s Prophets
The great Hebrew patriarchs equally revered by
Judaism, Christianity, and Islam - Abraham, Moses, Jacob, David, and Solomon,
to name a few – were polygamous. According to the Bible:
Abraham had three wives (Genesis 16:1, 16:3, 25:1)
Moses had two wives (Exodus 2:21, 18:1-6; Numbers
12:1)
Jacob had four wives (Genesis 29:23, 29:28, 30:4,
30:9)
David had at least 18 wives (1 Samuel 18:27, 25:39-44;
2 Samuel 3:3, 3:4-5, 5:13, 12:7-8, 12:24, 16:21-23)
Solomon had 700 wives (1 Kings 11:3). [3]
The example of Jesus, who otherwise overlooked
polygamy, is irrelevant as he did not marry during his earthly ministry.
Marriage in Islam
Marriage is a legal arrangement in Islam, not a
sacrament in the Christian sense, and is secured with a contract. Islamic
marriage lays rights and corresponding responsibilities on each spouse.
Children born in wedlock are given legitimacy and share in inheritance from
their parents.
The primary purpose of marriage in Islam is regulating
sexuality within marriage as well as creating an atmosphere for the continuity
and extension of the family. This is in sharp contrast to growing trends
on marriage in the West. In recent decades, there are more alternatives
to marriage than ever before. Cohabitation - living together outside of
marriage - has greatly increased among young, never-married adults, as well as
the divorced. More American women are having children outside of marriage,
ignoring the traditionally sanctioned sequence of marriage followed by
childbearing.
Polygamy in the Quran
The Muslim scripture, the Quran, is the only known
world scripture to explicitly limit polygamy and place strict restrictions upon
its practice:
“… marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear
that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one.” (Quran
4:3)
The Quran limited the maximum number of wives to
four. In the early days of Islam, those who had more than four wives at
the time of embracing Islam were required to divorce the extra wives.
Islam further reformed the institution of polygamy by requiring equal treatment
to all wives. The Muslim is not permitted to differentiate between his
wives in regards to sustenance and expenditures, time, and other obligations of
husbands. Islam does not allow a man to marry another woman if he will
not be fair in his treatment. Prophet Muhammad forbade discrimination
between the wives or between their children.
Also, marriage and polygamy in Islam is a matter of
mutual consent. No one can force a woman to marry a married man.
Islam simply permits polygamy; it neither forces nor requires it.
Besides, a woman may stipulate that her husband must not marry any other woman
as a second wife in her prenuptial contract. The point that is often
misunderstood in the West is that women in other cultures - especially African
and Islamic - do not necessarily look at polygamy as a sign of women’s
degradation. Consequently, to equate polygamy with degrading women is an
ethnocentric judgment of other societies.
Even though we see the clear permissibility of
polygamy in Islam, its actual practice is quite rare in many Muslim
societies. Some researchers estimate no more than 2% of the married males
practice polygamy. [4]
Most Muslim men feel they cannot afford the expense of maintaining more
than one family. Even those who are financially capable of looking after
additional families are often reluctant due to the psychological burdens of
handling more than one wife. One can safely say that the number of
polygamous marriages in the Muslim world is much less than the number of
extramarital affairs in the West[5].
In other words, contrary to prevalent notion, men in the Muslim world today are
more strictly monogamous than men in the Western world.
[1] “About the only important peoples of
ancient times that showed little or no traces of it [(polygamy)] were the
Greeks and the Romans. Nevertheless,
concubinage, which may be regarded as a higher
form of polygamy, or at least as nearer to pure monogamy, was for many
centuries recognized by the customs and even by the legislation of these two
nations.” The Catholic Encyclopedia:
[2] Cheryl Wetzstein, “Traditionalists Fear
Same-Sex Unions Legitimize Polygamy,” The Washington Times 13 Dec. 2000.
[4] Dr. Jumah al-Kholy, ‘Ta’addud al-Zawjaat wa
Hikmatuhu fil Islam,’ (Multiple Marriages In Islam & It’s Wisdom), Journal
of the Islamic University of Medina, vol. 46, 222-231.
[5] The most recent definitive survey on sexual
behavior shows that 20 percent of women and up to 35 percent of men have been
at one time or another unfaithful to their spouses (Sex in Marriage, Little,
Brown and Co., 1994, page 105). Another survey shows that adultery is as common
among Christians as non-Christians.
Christianity Today
magazine surveyed its subscribers and found that 23 percent admitted to having
had
extramarital intercourse.
The Lutheran Church:
Missouri Synod
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